girlon8wheels’ blog

It's been a few weeks, and things are a bit more stable on my end.  I finally got confirmation of my new job title, even though I've been in the position for almost two months now.  Also, my pay rate is now correct.  Needless to say, this is a huge burden lifted off of my shoulders.  Now that I am certain of my position and I know what kind of money I'll be bringing in, I can start some planning and paying off some bills.  Whew!

My roller derby season has ended.  My team lost our last game of the season by one point, 77-78.  Unfortunately, we're also 0-4 for the season.  I'm not gonna lie, I'm fairly disappointed about the whole thing.  To practice four times a week and to be 0-4 for the season sucks.  I put a lot of time and effort into this game and the league, at least one win would have been nice.  Oh well.  There's always next season and the draft pool I suppose. 

I'm glad that things have finally calmed down as far as my job and derby.  Now I can have some much-needed time to myself and get some personal projects done.  This summer I'd like to work on some craft projects, look into graduate school, and keep skating.  I'm also trying to lose weight, which is always easier said than done.  I'm sure I'll look back on this entry next year and laugh!  Oh well, whatever I do or don't accomplish I'll be fine with.  Being stress-free is what I'm most happy about.  Now I have some sunshine and some tea.

What are your neighbors like? (The ones you live near or next to, not the ones in your Vox neighborhood!)

I live on the second floor of an apartment complex, so I have neighbors all around me.  The neighbors downstairs have a pot smoking teenager who plays street hockey in the parking lot around dinner time.  The street hockey I can deal with, but the smell of pot seeping into my apartment is a bit much.  My upstairs neighbor sounds like he has a heard of elephants dancing in his apartment at 5:50 a.m.  I haven't actually met this man yet, so I'm hesitant to say something to him about the noise.  My next door neighbor has a baby that cries a lot.  Needless to say, I don't want these people to be my neighbor.

Have you ever been skinny dipping?

Yep!  Alcohol + hot tub + a bunch of roller girls = one naked roller girl.

What do you do EVERY day to take care of the earth's environment? What could you do more of?

Everyday I try to conserve as much in gas as possible.  If I'm running errands, I'll try and combine multiple errands into one location so I'm not driving around as much.  Also, I use a plastic bottle to put water in at work and at practice, so I'm not using dozens of plastic bottles just for water. 

I could do more conservation of energy, by putting my computer in a more efficient mode when I'm not using it.  Also, I should start carpooling to practice, since I live very close to the rink and almost anyone can pick me up on the way there.

Anyone that knows me outside the confines of a computer screen knows that I'm fairly pessimistic and panic-stricken.  Most of my thought processes revolve around worrying about my car, budgeting what little money I have, and wondering whether or not I can hold my sanity together long enough to finish out the roller derby season.  However, tonight I had a different take on my current situation.  My sister and I went out for ice cream and talked about a situation she's in.  Basically, it's do what everyone else wants vs. her own happiness - going to graduate school vs. moving with her boyfriend to Boston so he can start graduate school.  Being the big sister, I of course laid out all of her cards on the table. However, contrary to what I'd tell other people, I told her to follow her heart and make sure she's happy first and foremost.  I gave her the lecture on making sure she could provide for herself and if he ever jacked her over, he'd be eating his balls for dinner.  Also, I told her that she needs to be happy, and if she's not happy, she'll never make anyone else happy.  So, I think she's probably moving to Boston.  It scares me because I don't want anything bad to happen to her.  However, she needs to be happy and learn from her own mistakes.  It's how we grow and what makes us human.

Anyways, when I was explaining all of this to her, I kinda reviewed my current situation.  As bad as I see things, I don't have things bad at all.  I have a good job, a nice apartment, a boyfriend of five years who would do anything for me, a family that loves me, and my health.  One can't ask for much more than that.  The little things that happen along the way are just those, little things.  Now I just need to learn to see the forest from the trees the next time I have a panic attack at 3 o'clock in the morning. 

A little background before I get into today's dramatics.  I work for a local non-profit agency which helps the developmentally disabled.  The agency provides many services for these people, including adult day habs, medical resources, social work, group homes, and behavioral services (which is the department I work in).  My job has me working in two of the adult day habs as a behavioral manager.  Pretty much, I help the individuals who have severe behavioral issues, as well as teaching the staff how to deal with these issues when they arise.

Anyways.  Yesterday I found out that there were going to be some cuts in the behavior department due to a budgetary crisis within the agency.  I was shocked, but not surprised, especially after the cuts they have been making in other departments in the agency.  Sadly, some of my former co-workers are losing their jobs.  I feel bad for them, but I left that job a little over a month ago to take my most current position - so I'm lucky, to say the least.  However, that's not the worst of it.  Apparently 2/3's of the department are being cut, which is about twenty people.  Thankfully I recently got the position I'm in now so I don't think I'm going to lose my job.  Well, at least I hope.  My position is important, because I work with both the behavior department and the adult day hab department.  The only thing that may change about my job is that I'm going to continue servicing the two day hab sites, even though I was supposed to be cut down to one later this summer.  We'll see though, I suppose. 

I feel an overwhelming sense of guilt, since I just got this brand new job, which I love.  It's close to my apartment, the hours are great, and the pay is better.  For the first time in my life I was starting to feel optimistic about my future and my job.  However, now with these budget cuts I feel guilty for having this job and being happy for having it.  I feel guilty because I'm getting a brand new office in a few weeks, while my co-workers are being reassigned in the agency.  I also feel hesitant to enjoy my job because I don't know if they're done with the budget cuts or not.  Things feel too good to be true right now, and I don't want the rug to be pulled out from underneath me.  Perhaps this is a sign that my job is important, and that I should do the absolute best I can and never take any of it for granted. 

What is your definition of cheating?

Cheating means betraying the trust of someone, whether it be looking on someone else's exam or catching your lover in bed with someone else.